Saturday, November 29, 2003

smoked turkey is diabolical

i’ve been told that my smoked turkey is as sinful as, well some high-up sins ( on the catholic charts).  not to toot my own horn - too late - but ya know our early (pilgrim) pioneers knew the value and benifits of smoking meat.............

you know and once they met the native indians im sure they were introduced to the wonders of smoking meat, fish, and other type thingies.....

Posted by bbeard on 11/29 at 10:37 PM
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the magic of wine vinegar

the how-2s and what nots

so you want to make some red-wine vinigar to make a sallad dressing.  you dont want to get it at the local 5 and dime or the huge retail giant crushing the mom and pops and really the moms and pops just dont have any sellection so-o-o-o-o-o wha-daya gonna do?  we down martha stewart style without the bi-i-i-i-otch.

so we make our own, here we go

select you container or decanter, it doesnt need to be air tight.  bacteria wont grow in a high ph like vinegar so dont stress the germs.  choose something pretty that reflects your style or decore.

choose your wine:  there are three basics red, white, and fortified.  my opinion is the red wine vinegar yields the best flavor-hence white wine is good for infusing flavor with fruit ( we’ll talk about that later) the fortifieds are usually heavy and very flavorful wines like sherry, port, marsalla, and drambui ( a liqure).

ok so now you need to decide:  “will i have a regular wine vingar or will i infuse it with some tempting flavors of garlic, rosemary, thyme, oreagano, dill, or MJ.” - hell ANY herb will do.  you can even use wild berries or store bought varieties just start with DRIED berries.  Usually the trater the berry the better the vinegar- berries such as: raspberry, blackberry, cranberry, gooseberry, wild plums, pineapple(not a berry), tropical fruits are ok but should be uses only with a light white wine VIN.

so now that you’ve decided lets pretend you chose the RED.  One evening light some candles (optional) and have some itallian and some nice red table wine like a merlot or cabernet.  Don’t finish the bottle save 1/4 to 1/2 of the bottle of wine for the next morning - if you are like me and sometimes drink to much or are having several dinner guests purchase a larger bottle.

the next morning:

so you have you fancy decanter that you will use to add some fav-ah to your kitchen.  pour the leftover wine into the decanter.  the wine on its own will oxidise and turn to vinigar, but we will help it along.  add about2 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar to a 1/2 bottle of wine (adjust accordingly)

so in an impulse you decide “i want flavored vinegar” lets pretend you select garic and rosemary.  take several (5-7) fresh cloves of garlic and ram them into your pretty decanter take 2-3 twiggs of rosemary and ram then into the slender neck of your pretty decanter making sure they arrive in the main holding chanber of the decanter.  as you have dinner and drink wine add the remainders to the decanter.  you can get a big bottle of wine and use all of that - however i have foud that using different kinds of simillar wines add to complexity and flavor of the vinegar.

ok so its july and you have a bbq comming up where you will host the neighborhood, some co-workers and friends.  you think, “i have got to have something amazing- but what?” so you decide a nice exotic cool sallad will be best to wow your co-workers and friends and set the neighborhood ablaze regading your cooking fines.

this time you have decided on a tangarine mint infused vinegar.  start with some good leftover white wine like a chardonay or chablis.  find/aquire/purchase another decanter and pour thr wine in.  we will use the same ration of apple cider vinegar to wine as before.  now to get all the flavor of the tangarines you use the colored part of the rhind - no fruit - it will add sugars and make the vinegar less than desireable.  add a mint sprig not too much its very strong

so to make this wonderful salad you start with butterleaf lettuce and some red romain with a few impatient flowers (petals only) select some mandarine orange slices and add some thing purple like a beat, bean, or onion-(lite on the onion)

now for the dressing add equal parts of the vinegar and some walnut oil or substitue a drizzle of sesame oil in peanut oil.  blend together with a tbl-spoon of fresh clover honey for every 4 oz of dressing blam-O a salad to charm

Posted by bbeard on 11/29 at 12:28 PM
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How many years does it take to cut off your locks?


I read every now and again.  This time he and I shared an experience.  Back when I lived in the ATL (that’s Atlanta, GA for those of you that aren’t ‘down’), I hadn’t chosen a permanent barber yet and was wandering around town with an overgrown head of hair.  I walked into a barbershop in the Omni hotel complex downtown.

“Hi, how can I help you?” ,said the “barber” as I removed my jacket and walked towards the overgrown barber’s chair. 

“I’d like a haircut”, I said. 

“I’m sorry, I can’t cut your hair”, he said. 

Me, “You can’t cut my hair”? 

He, “No.”

Looking around at this establishment that had three “barber’s” chairs, two 20+ foot mirrors on opposite walls, waiting chairs and big cobalt-blue bottles of Barbicide solution image on the counter, I asked “Is this a barbershop?”

“Yes”, he said.

“Why can’t you cut my hair?”, I asked.

“Look, I just can’t cut your hair, ok?”, he said.

I said, “Well then you should hire a barber for this nice shop” as I slipped my arms back into my jacket and walked out the door.

I believe that was the time that I caught the train to the Ashby Street train station and walked to the Ogletree Barber shop on MLK Blvd. in the West-End.  Mr ‘tree (as we called him) and I laughed at each other’s jokes as I sat in his chair in the ‘hood and I never saw him turn a customer away.

Not many years after that, I decided to save $30 a month and no longer have my hair cut.  Seven years later, silly people tease and call me Bob Marley.  I wonder if they realize how much of a compliment that is to me.

Posted by SPN on 11/29 at 09:20 AM
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Leftover Turkey Recipes

bbeard, this one is for you.

Curried Turkey Soup
Chopped apple gives this chunky noodle soup a hint of sweetness. It’s a great way to use up that leftover holiday turkey.

Posted by SPN on 11/29 at 09:08 AM
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Friday, November 28, 2003

UPS just isn’t working for me!

Should I tell???

Last Friday night I was on my way to practice with the kids, and as I left my job, there was a UPS truck (the short ones) in front of me. As we drove along, I notice what looked like his trailer was open and the packages were about to come off at any second. Because we have had numerous problem with UPS (not enough to stop all dealings w/ them, I guess) I was very adament about not turning off, but staying behind this truck. And true to form, as we continued to drive, I begin to see packages falling from the truck!! Not only was I upset, but I pulled my car over to pick them up and for several reasons:
1) It’s the company that puts bread on my table
2) One of the packages could have belonged to one of my clients( not one but both did!!) and Lord knows I get so tired of answering phone calls that concern “UPS DID NOT DELIVER MY PACKAGE!!” or “ WHEN MY PACKAGE WAS DELIVERED BY UPS, ALL MATERIAL WAS JACKED TO HELL AND i CAN NOT USE THIS FOR MY MEETING!!!!”

I mean how many times can you apologize to your client, before you start to look as if IDIOT is permenantly tatooed on your forehead??

So got the packages out of the street and continued driving , saw the driver who had pulled over and thought I should drive by and not give him anything, but drive back to my job and show them just how incompetent UPS has become. However as I got closer and looked in his face, I couldn’t do it. I thought of all sort of things happening after I decided to take the route of sharing the information I have with my employer. So I got out of my car, lectured the guy on how he should be more careful, because not only could this be his JOB, but mine as well if the packages never made it to there destination. And went to my practice that I was now late for!!

So now I’ve been wondering should I still inform my employer as well as UPS? Honestly I could not bare the thought of this experience turning not just negative, but very NEGATIVE!!!

All responses will be read, and then I’ll make a final decision......


Posted by COOP on 11/28 at 01:40 PM
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the wonders of fire

smoked the turkey

well t-day went off without a hitch for the most part.  despite the children having taken all evening to clean a bathroom ( to help) rather than finishing and helping to trim the tree and so-forth.

so this year our first holiday together i decided to smoke a turkey.  a great big 22.0364 lb turkey.  so i got up in the morning and started the bbq first thing.  see to smoke you must use a wood fire in a smoke pit type bbq, and i have foud the best way to get that wood burning is to through it on the top of red-hot regular bbq coals.  so the ‘q is going and im inside hacking and wacking at the turkey carcase.  ~see you need to cut it in half and place it skin side up when you smoke; this prevents the tukey from dying out.  so i made a nice holiday rub for the truket that consited of sugar, cinnamon, garlic pultry seasoning, seasoning salt, and just a hint of paparika.  for the mop i added some white wine red wine vinagar (from a nice cab) some water and maple syrup.

so anyway the turkey was a big hit for the folks that we invited over and mother in law.
now it seems we will be a having a variety of turkey based meals for the nest 2 months.
turkey soup, turkey chili, smoked turkey quesadilas, turkey quiche, turkey pot pie, smothered turkey, and turkey pizza.

hope everyones day was memorable

Posted by bbeard on 11/28 at 01:09 PM
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Thursday, November 27, 2003

Please call or send me an email.

I’m at work right now.

I will be at work tomorrow too.

I will be at work Friday.

I will be at work Saturday.

I will be at work Sunday.

Posted by SPN on 11/27 at 09:08 AM
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Happy Thanksgiving Day!

Or whatever you call it.

Let’s be thankful that the progeny of those pilgrims had the forsight to to attempt to exterminate the natives instead of living in harmony with them. 

It would have been too difficult to continue to live in relative peace than to kill those that helped you make it through the harsh seasons.

Posted by SPN on 11/27 at 08:45 AM
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Wednesday, November 26, 2003

christmas lights

ok now i didn’t fall off the ladder exactly.....and I’ve learned that stapling up the lights work the best - regardless of what the wife says.

so its that time of year and you all know whats coming.  the mans (husbands) duty to rig up the badword christmas lights.  now i love looking at christmas lights- really! and i think done moderatley they can be beautiful and add to the spirit of the winter-solstice/kawanza/new year/ christmas/ etc etc.

so i thought i would be clever this year and rig them up with small plastic tabs i can leave up year round and just hang the lights - take ‘em down and re hang them from the fixture next year.... ok so the stapler splits the plastic so thats out and it sucks anyway cause you cant get them tight, so i think - badword ill just staple them up like i always do and if they dont like how the lights are hung they can do...(blah, blah,blah) ok so your with me right?

so i get them up and they look nice they are the icicles kind.  so i notice an area that is saging a little after ive run the power, turned them on, and tested - ok?  so’s i get up there to correct the sag and blam-o after trying to staple it back up all of a sudden im hanging 2-stories from the christmas lights still stapled into the eves.  so i look up and thwack-thwack thwack they start comming out i start lurching to the ground.  I pissed my pants and everything ‘cause of the shock and stuff so i get on the groud turn around and this neigbor lady is standing right there.  me in my pissed pants- so she asks me if i need some help.  and tells me i shouldnt be stringing them up by myself because accidents do happen.  afterall it looked like i had done a nice job.....

so i stapled all back up with the power OFF

Posted by bbeard on 11/26 at 04:22 PM
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Somebody’s gonna get it.

Hmmm, I wonder who it will be.

Posted by SPN on 11/26 at 11:51 AM
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some people just can’t take a joke

you know all the forwarders and email spaming etc tec etc.  well thats how us (we) teckie people tease eachother.

we test eachothers wit, intellegence, and charm!  jeeeeeeez! , (name withheld) get over it!!

Posted by bbeard on 11/26 at 11:48 AM
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I’m gonna make somebody mad.

My good and close friend, (name witheld), just sent me an urgent email.  This email was, believe it or not, requesting that I forward an email in order to get free money from Microsoft and AOL.

I thought that everybody already knew that email forwarding/tracking programs don’t work.

For the record, to you or anyone that is interested in forwarding me an email that promises that I get something for nothing if you haven’t checked or or any of the dozens of websites that report about these hoaxes, DON’T SEND IT BEFORE CHECKING FIRST.  Or at least don’t send it to me. 

At least call one of the numbers that is bound to be listed in the .sig of the person who first “verified” that it was “really true”.

Sorry buddy, I just had to get it off of my chest.

--update 11:45
I just got another email stating that it was a joke to get me to respond.  Very funny.  OK, the war has just begun.

Posted by SPN on 11/26 at 11:27 AM
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I’m respectable now.

I just upgraded this software to the “Pro” version.  I have a few more options for you the loyal readers/contributors to utilize.  If you don’t read nor contribute, then you won’t notice.

I notice that you don’t read nor contribute.

But that’s ok.....

Posted by SPN on 11/26 at 09:05 AM
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Tuesday, November 25, 2003


If you travel overseas, make sure that you can scream…


HANOI (Reuters) - Vietnamese drug addicts kidnapped a mute teenager, bundled him in a sack and sold him to a dog-meat eatery as a stray canine, state media said on Saturday.

I would eat dog meat if I went overseas.  That is all a part of experiencing the life to the fullest.  I’d eat cat meat too.  I’d probably also eat that strange thing in the pot as well as long as someone else ate it too.

Posted by SPN on 11/25 at 02:44 PM
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Back to the Dr. again

I went to the doctor yesterday for a regular checkup.  Does it count as a regular checkup if the last time I went was more than three years ago?

The Dr. said that my blood pressure is high.  I can believe it.  I don’t exercise.  I work indoors with no heavy lifting.  Most of my spare time is devoted to my self-study CCNA class or to building or maintaining websites.  I eat too much and too poorly.  I weigh 215 pounds.

I’ve got to make a change. 

With your cash donations, you can make it all happen.

Posted by SPN on 11/25 at 10:11 AM
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