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What It Took Me Fifty Years to LEARN

I actually did number 10.

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative
on the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race
has not achieved, and never will
achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings.”

3. There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost
never want you to share yours with
them.

5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

6. Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.

7. Never lick a steak knife.

8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling
reason why we observe
daylight savings time.

10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests
that you think she is
pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at
that moment.

11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to
make a big deal about your
birthday.  That time is age eleven.

12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age,
gender, religion, economic status or
ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that
we are above average drivers.

13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice
person. (This is very important.
Pay attention.  It never fails.)

14. Your friends love you anyway.

15. Never be afraid to try something new.  Remember that a lone amateur
built the Ark.  A large group
of professionals built the Titanic.

FINAL Thought for the day:  Men are like a fine wine.  They start out as
grapes, and it’s up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they
turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.


Posted by SPN on 06/01 at 08:57 AM in Blogging

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