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FOR ALL THE ANN COULTER FANS OUT THERE - NOT!

A friend sent the following and I found it hysterical.

Last Sunday I finally saw an entire hour...or was it an hour and a half?...of Ann Coulter in action (as opposed to the minute here and thirty seconds there that I had seen previously).  This was a debate between MS. Coulter (MS in this case means “Mighty Sick") and the young publisher of some magazine...I’ve seen him before, but I can’t seem to remember his name or the name of his magazine.  Anyway, after the debate, the debaters took questions from the audience.  I cannot imagine how anyone wants to influence people with the attitude that Coulter gave her audience.  I wish that I had been there...I would have asked two questions: 1. Have you offered your bile and acid to the military?  I hear that they’re looking for some new weapons lately...but...uh...I guess they probably wouldn’t be interested after all...the American military is really into “smart” weapons lately.  2. When was the last time you had a meal that wasn’t followed with your finger down your throat?  You might try eating now and again...we all get cranky and mean when we don’t eat!

Here’s something else someone sent me:
JOKE #1
“Kerry and Edwards are taking a stroll around Capitol Hill when he meets a little girl carrying a small basket with a blanket over it.
Curiously, Kerry asks the girl, “What’s in the basket?”
She replies, “New baby kittens,” and she opens the basket to show him.
“How nice” says Kerry. “What kind are they?”
The little girl says, “Republicans.”
Kerry frowns, but pats the little girl on the head, and they continue on.

About three weeks later, Kerry, walking around Capitol Hill with another Congressional colleague, sees the same little girl again with the same basket.

Kerry says to his colleague, “Watch this; it’s very cute”. As they approach the little girl. Kerry asks the girl, “How are the kittens?”
She says, “Fine.”
He then asks, “Again, what kind of kittens are they?”
This time she replies, “Democrats.”
Somewhat surprised, Kerry says, “Three weeks ago you said they were Republicans!”
“I know,” she says, “But now their eyes are open.”

Joke #2--

Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him, “You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really are?”
Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, “Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?”
Saint Peter snaps his fingers and a blackboard and chalk instantly appear. Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his theory of relativity.
Saint Peter is suitably impressed. “You really ARE Einstein!” he says.  “Welcome to heaven!”

The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again, Saint Peter asks for credentials.
Picasso asks, “Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk?”
Saint Peter says, “Go ahead.”
Picasso erases Einstein’s equations and sketches a truly stunning mural with just a few strokes of chalk.
Saint Peter claps. “Surely you are the great artist you claim to be!” he says. “Come on in!”

Then Saint Peter looks up and sees George W. Bush. Saint Peter scratches his head and says, “Einstein and Picasso both managed to prove their identity. How can you prove yours?”

George W. looks bewildered and says, “Who are Einstein and Picasso?”

Saint Peter sighs and says, “Come on in, George.”


Posted by Nuttshell on 11/01 at 07:50 PM in Celebrity

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