CDC Warning

The Centers for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of Sexually Transmitted Disease. The disease is contracted through dangerous and high-risk behavior. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim, pronounced “gonna re-elect ‘em.” Many victims contracted it in 2004, after having been screwed for four years.

Cognitive characteristics of individuals infected include: anti-social personality disorders; delusions of grandeur with messianic overtones; extreme cognitive dissonance; inability to incorporate new information; pronounced xenophobia, homophobia, and paranoia; inability to accept responsibility for one’s own actions; cowardice masked by misplaced bravado; uncontrolled facial smirking; ignorance of geography, history, and the correct pronunciation of “nuclear;” tendencies towards evangelical theocracy; and, categorical all-or-nothing behavior.

Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed at how quick-spreading and destructive this disease is after originating only a few years ago from a Bush found in Texas.

Posted by Nuttshell on 10/26 at 04:32 PM in Blogging

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