Category: Funny Stuff


Thursday, July 15, 2004

More funnies

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Posted by SPN on 07/15 at 03:41 AM in Funny Stuff
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More funnies

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Posted by SPN on 07/15 at 02:40 AM in Funny Stuff
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Wednesday, July 14, 2004

More funnies

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Posted by SPN on 07/14 at 05:40 PM in Funny Stuff
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More funnies

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Posted by SPN on 07/14 at 04:39 PM in Funny Stuff
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Sunday, July 04, 2004

Ten Rules of Housekeeping

A joke from a coworker.

1. Vacuuming too often weakens the carpet fibers. Say this with a serious face, and shudder delicately whenever anyone mentions Carpet Fresh.

2. Dust bunnies cannot evolve into dust rhinos when disturbed. Rename the area under the couch “The Galapagos Islands” and claim an ecological exemption.

3. Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF factor of five and leave it alone.

4. Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduces the glare from the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your husband points out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look affronted and exclaim, “What? And spoil the mood?”

5. In a pinch, you can always claim that the haphazard tower of unread magazines and newspapers next to your chair provides the valuable Feng Shui aspect of a tiger, thereby reducing your vulnerability. Roll your eyes when you say this.

6. Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways by claiming
you are collecting it there to use for stuffing handsewn play animals for
underprivileged children.

7. If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly into one room
and close the door. As you show your guests through your tidy home, rattle
the door knob vigorously, fake a growl and say, “I’d love you to see our Den,
but Fluffy hates to be disturbed and the shots are SO expensive.”

8. If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy urn on the coffee table and insist that “THIS is where Grandma wanted us to scatter her ashes...”

9. Don’t bother repainting. Simply scribble lightly over a dirty wall with an assortment of crayons, and try to muster a glint of tears as you say, “Junior did this the week before that unspeakable accident… I haven’t had the heart to clean it...”

10. Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household cleaner with four cups of water in a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly. Leave dampened rags in conspicuous locations. Develop an exhausted look, throw yourself onto the couch, and sigh, “I clean and I clean and I clean and I still don’t get anywhere...”

Posted by SPN on 07/04 at 10:55 AM in Funny Stuff
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Saturday, July 03, 2004

Joke courtesy of my uncle Ted.

During a campaign tour of the Apache Nation Wednesday, President Bush said he had a plan to increase every Native American’s income by $40,000 a year.  The president refused repeated requests for details of his plan, however..... He also told the Apaches that during his career as Governor of Texas he had ALWAYS been an advocate on every issue that would help the welfare of the Apache Nation.

Before his departure, the Apache Tribe presented the president a plaque inscribed with his new Indian name, Running Eagle.

After President Bush left, tribal officials explained that Running Eagle is a bird so full of shit it cannot fly.

Posted by SPN on 07/03 at 10:56 AM in Funny Stuff
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Tuesday, May 18, 2004

I am NOT the creator of this or any comic on this page

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Posted by SPN on 05/18 at 10:40 AM in Funny Stuff
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I am NOT the creator of this or any comic on this page

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Posted by SPN on 05/18 at 07:05 AM in Funny Stuff
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Sunday, April 25, 2004

I am NOT the creator of this or any comic on this page

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Posted by SPN on 04/25 at 10:39 AM in Funny Stuff
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Saturday, April 24, 2004

I am NOT the creator of this or any comic on this page

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Posted by SPN on 04/24 at 10:38 AM in Funny Stuff
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